Crescent Madness
by Coronfrim Crelumin
Summary: Remus awakes a little after Dawn, his memory in tatters and blood on his hands. Read and review, if you'd be so kind.
1. This is the first

_This is the first..._

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Disclaimer: None of the characters or places of the Harry Potter books belong to me. They are not mine, do you hear? Do you? Right. Lyrics used as titles and first lines belong to Blink 182. 

A/N: Uh... yeah. Don't know what the Hell this is. Make of it what you will.

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...thing I remember.

It's dark, that's all I can tell through the throbbing in my skull. It feels like my entire body is shakeing with each pound. I don't know where I am or what I'm doing... but I can begin to sit up and look around me. I'm in a room, smaller than my own but more distinct than I have ever been allowed to make mine. Black, is my first impression. The walls, curtains, bedspread - all black. There is something familiar here, I know that know; my mind is beginning to clear. I have been in this place before. But something's wrong; I can sense it, smell it even.

As my eyes are growing more accustomed to the darkness, though, it's becoming painfully clear what the matter is. Everything, every piece of furniture, every... everything - it's all been ripped to shreds. My toe nudges what may once have been a broomstick. Hard to tell though. Now it's no more than a cloud of splinters.

I get slowly, waveringly, to my feet, hanging on to the windowsill to hold myself up. God, I'm aching as though every bone in my body has been broken. My eyes fall back on the bedspread... locking in, this time, on the shape that covers most of it. ...White, black... red. Blood red.

I stagger backwards, colliding with the locked door with enough force that I see stars, knocking my head back against it in my sudden horror. Oh God, Sirius... what have I done?

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A/N: I'm not quite sure where I'm going with this, I'll admit. But I'd be ever so honoured if you'd stick around and find out. What d'ya say? Anyway, reviews would be much appreciated. Thankies TTFN 


	2. Now it's the last

_Now it's the last..._

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Disclaimers: See chapter 1._

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...thing left on my mind.

It's cold outside, but I'm running blindly out into the blistering winter wind without a thought, except that I need to get away. I fought back the instinct to go to him, couldn't bear the sight of his body lying broken and bleeding with the marks of claws, my claws, in his flesh. I was out of the room and tearing down the stairs as soon as my fumbling hands could wrench the key around in the lock.

Oh God... Oh _God... _What have I done? No matter how much I rub my eyes, shake my head, pinch myself, the sight of his torn body refuses to unstitch itself from the inside of my eyelids; there's no escape.

And I keep running, the pavement disappearing in a blur beneath my, often stumbling, feet. The icy air bites deeper, slicing into my skin like a flurry of blades.

I don't know where I'm going. Thinking doesn't seem to be an option when my mind's full of... God, full of _him_.

I have to stop running, exhaustion and the stitch in my side have caught up with me, dragging me to a standstill, panting and scrubbing furious tears from my eyes. I have nowhere to go now, nowhere to run _to_, just have to run. I can't run to James or Peter; Merlin knows where Dumbledore's sent them this time, but I haven't heard from either of them in months. There's still Hogwarts... but I know I can never go back there. Dumbledore trusted me. How can I tell him he was wrong?

No, I'm on my own now. Fighting through the gnawing pain over my hip, I force my legs into a slow jog, though they complain every step of the way.

It's mid-day when I find myself in the park, as good a place as any to rest I suppose. I drop myself down on a rotting bench, given a wide berth by the few passers-by that have troubled to brave the weather. It's only now that I look down at my hands, more dangling than resting, in my lap. I swear my heart just stopped. Blood. My hands, every inch of them... soaked in blood. It's a good thing the park is so empty, because the helpless sound, somewhere between a moan and a wail, would doubtless have attracted attention. What could ever make anyone ready for the realisation that they are a cold-blooded killer? Worse, that they had murdered their best friend and their lov- No, God, it's too painful even to think those words.

Warm tears leave thin tracks in the red stains, but I could never cry enough of them to wash these claws clean.

"Rather they the multitudinous seas incarnadine..." That line from Macbeth drifts tauntingly back to me through a poisonous fog of misery and fury. And how I wish now for Cawdor's swift end, life rubbed away life in a single fell stroke, cut down for his crimes. Where is that enemy's drawn sword now _I_ have need? Why such justice for him and not for me? "Oh out, out brief candle...To die, to sleep. That this was all a dream..."

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A/N: I do have soime vague idea where this is going now... so uh, still stick around to see. Reviews will be cooed happily over, so do leave on on your way out. Come on, it'll take _seconds_, you know you want to...

Anyway, TTFN folks. -waves-


	3. Afraid of the dark

_Afraid of the dark..._

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Disclaimer: See chapter 1_

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...do you hear me whisper?

It's colder now, below freezing I'd guess. But I barely feel it anymore. It's been weeks since I knew any real shelter, more than doorways or alleys. The moon's been lost in clouds these past few nights, and I've thanked Merlin for it every time. I used to fear the moon for what it did to me, for the monster it turned me into. But there's nothing to fear there anymore. Once a murderer, always a... I shudder asthe word sticks in my throat.But that's what I am;the moon can't change that.

Now I dread the memories it's sure to bring.

xxxoxxx

I scream, wrenching my head back in agony as I feel the first earth-splitting cracks. My bones are snapping, reshaping. These are the last moments before the Wolf takes over. Even now I can hear its feral snarling in the back of my mind. It's waiting for the chains to break, sniffing the air and starving for freedom.

Every moon, I expect the last snap to be the one that breaks me, that final, fatal straw that pushes me under, lets me drown in sweat and blood and terror. One night, I still imagine it will be, but not tonight. Just as I feel myself slipping under, my struggles giving way beneath yellowing claws, there he is. The giant black dog reaches up on its hindlegs to plant his paws firmly on my chest. Knocked backwards into the wall, I've no choice but to stare back into those wide, amber eyes. Oh, those eyes... The Wolf howls, shrieking injustice. I've kept it waiting too long. But I can let it loose now. Ready, Wolfie? The leash is about to come off. He's holding me down, holding me back. No bloodfor youtonight.

xxxoxxx

Tears are streaming down my face now, freezing sharp against my skin. "Sirius... _Sirius..._"

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A/N: Yeah, I know it's short. I'm not too pleased with the way this story's panning out, to be honest. I'm going to try to get it back on track next chapter... Review, if you please, it's still nice to know what you think. TTFN chaps -waves- 


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